Oh, to not only suffer but suffer well. With a suspicious heart always focused on what isn’t yet and what will never be, happiness is the enemy. The consoling thought is that great art springs from despair and other people’s joy makes most people nauseous.
Once more into the depths then, to where the voices sing songs of the quiet times, hindsight, contemplation and questions over answers.
I always was sadder than I had any right to be – objectively. Seems reasons work retroactively too. Maybe my soul knew the things to come long before and so I was prepared when the time came.
Now I just want to make a mess of things, say yes to everything I know won’t last and live in the space between today and tomorrow.
If you held my hand, maybe you would feel the melancholy seep into you too and see how it adds a hue to the world that’s hard to shake. Maybe that’s why you wear your sunglasses at night: reality is too bright unfiltered.
Those rings I wear tonight I wear to feign the grace I wish I possessed and wish you’d notice. What I am really saying is not in the many words I speak. They are a distraction – my greatest magic trick.
And I am so disappointed you fall for it every single time.
“So it falls apart, it falls apart
Just like you wanted it to fall apart
It falls apart, it falls apart”
[Part 17 of Volume 2 of my “Thinking in Acronyms” series”]